*warning this blog post is about to get a little bit personal (and long – you might wanna grab a cup of tea)
You may have noticed I have been absent in the land of blogs and businesses lately, but I’m here today to give you some insight into why… and hopefully along the way encourage you to practice healthy self-care.
Just over 100 days ago a really important relationship in my life changed, and my heart was feeling pretty damn over it if I am honest. I was ready to give up on connection, really unfocused on work and university and overall burnt the hell out.
This was about the time that all of my new and super lovely friends from a course I had completed 100 days prior were finishing their 100 day Tai Chi practice. I had also signed on to this commitment but about 25 days in just was not feeling it and gave up on that too, so seeing everybody’s posts about how damn amazing they felt only increased the heat in my self-pity fire.
Luckily for me, I had already started a journey of self-reflection and deep down under all the muck and tiredness there was a little cheer leader squeaking ‘Don’t give up!’ So, I sat down one Wednesday night and started to reflect on why I didn’t feel like starting another Tai Chi practice just yet. I realized that even though I had actively signed up with everybody, somewhere in me I was not doing it for me… it was to impress my new friends / be a part of something great. And even though that’s quite sweet, it really didn’t stick.
So, I decided for the next 100 days to practice something I really enjoy (meditation), and to do it alone, and in whatever way my heart decides feels right that day. And oh WOW has it been different!
The function of meditation practice is to heal and transform. Meditation helps us to be whole, and to look deeply into ourselves and around us in order to realize what is really there. Thich Nhat Hanh says ‘in the meditation process, fears are undone, internal blocks of suffering such as anger, hatred and despair are transformed, relationships become easier, freedom and joy penetrate’.
As a long time sufferer of anxiety and a sack full of pretty unhealthy addictions it felt like the right time to commit to something good. I needed to connect to myself for awhile in order to re-group after what has been a relatively tumultuous few years. I just so happened to start a course in the facilitation of meditation practices not long before this Wednesday, so I had information overload to guide me. Also, my beautiful Mum had just gifted me her meditation mat… things could not have been more ready!
I tell you, this practice was truly special for me. I have felt a profound shift in my ability to manage my anxiety and a real sense of trust has been awakened. I no longer feel like giving up, and I managed to finish university and find a new job that is really screaming to my heart and soul. It is quite possibly the most romantic thing I have ever done, and all I needed was a mat made of silk and wool and around 20 minutes a day. The more present I got on the mat, the easier the rest of my day felt. I felt fresher and freer and abundantly grateful.
For all of you fellow monkey minded people – don’t worry, I get you. It seems impossible to fit 20 minutes into your day. But, somehow it works… If I can do it – I believe anyone can, and I will very gladly be your cheerleader if you need.
Committing to yourself has benefits far beyond your physical, emotional and mental health. Yeah my blog site has been quiet, but now I feel ready to actually write meaningful content. And yeah, I haven’t been all that social, but now when I see people I have energy to share and a whole lotta love to give. So it’s all win, win, WIN if you ask me.
I would love to hear about your struggles with the commitment process.
- When is the last time you committed to something?
- What commitments do you really wish you’d kept but faltered on?
- What do you do to stay focused?
About Kerryn Nilsson-Linne: Kerryn is the director of West Coast Wellness, where she coaches clients to reduce stress, overcome addictions, eat well and relax more. Kerryn’s mission is to “encourage and inspire others to value their bodies and live a life they love”.